I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
