The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize