If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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