im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
