I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
