we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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