I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
