Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize