There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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