Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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