There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
