I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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