If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
