And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
