i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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