How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
