Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
