I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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