we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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