Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
