I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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