shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
