you turned your livingroom into a bong?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
