God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
