best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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