I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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