I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
