Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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