I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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