what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
