its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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