I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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