Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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