how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
