We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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