i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
