the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
