oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
