this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you made out with another girl for some wings
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
