I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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