I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
