Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
