Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
