Just mADE A PArabola og urine
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
