in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
