The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my poor anus
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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