how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
