Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Come see our sink grown plant.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My vagina is officially offended.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize