I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
