i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
