She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
