The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
