tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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