he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
only you would photoshop your dick
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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